Improving Body Image.

The Top 5 Things You Can Do Now to Promote Positive Body Image

1. Choose one friend or family member and discuss one thing you like about yourselves.
2. Keep a journal of all the good things your body allows you to do (e.g., sleep well and wake up rested, play tennis, etc.).
3. Pick one friend to make a pact with to avoid negative body talk. When you catch your friend talking negatively about their body, remind them of the pact.
4. Make a pledge to end complaints about your body, such as “I’m so flat-chested” or “I hate my legs.” When you catch yourself doing this, make a correction by saying something positive about that body part, such as, “I’m so glad my legs got me through soccer practice today”.
5. The next time someone gives you a compliment, rather than objecting (“No, I’m so fat”), practice taking a deep breath and saying “thank you.”

Read more about body image, depression and trauma at Dr Kathleen Young's blog.

Yale University researchers find key genetic trigger of depression

Yale University researchers have found a gene that seems to be a key contributor to the onset of depression and is a promising target for a new class of antidepressants, they report Oct. 17 in the journal Nature Medicine.

"This could be a primary cause, or at least a major contributing factor, to the signaling abnormalities that lead to depression," said Ronald S. Duman, professor of psychiatry and pharmacology at Yale and senior author of the study.

Read more . . .

This is pretty big news.  I am hoping they find better ways to deal with depression soon.

Totally Losing My Motivation

Yes, I know what I'm about to say is silly.  But recent changes in the online game I play has left me disinclined to continue to play.  Which is really bad.  I credit this game with keeping me engaged and at least semi interested in life during several very deep depressions.  A lot of my spare time is spent either playing this game or learning more about this game, which keeps me from obsessing about things that make me feel bad.  I am having to struggle really hard just to keep up the minimum interest in life at all.

Dying In America

Give me your Huddled Masses, Dying in America

I have Interstitial Lung Disease, with Pulmonary Fibrosis.  It is a terminal illness, with no current treatment that improves or arrest the disease, and therefore no cure.

The only chance is a heart and lung transplant, that I am not eligible to receive. I cannot seem to lose the 100 lbs I have put on while taking the Prednisone steroids.

But this is not just about me, this is about dying in one of the richest countries in the world.

Read more . . .  @ Daily Kos

Not an easy read.  I'm not dying, yet, but I have a few issues that would be much easier to deal with if I had even some kind access to basic medical care.  Fibromyalgia, obesity, and most recently high blood pressure. Also, my teeth are falling out and I have been able to only slow the process a little.  :sigh:  It's very stressful when I have a panic attack, which is horrific and feels like you are dying, to not have knowing I can't afford to see a doctor to the stressors.  A few months ago I had an episode where my chest and back hurt and I couldn't breath and it could be the muscle spasm I've had for years really acting up or I could be dying . . I crawled into the living room and lay on the floor near my daughter in case I started to die.  So at least she would know, we can't afford to call an ambulance.  And if I lose my job she will have to find a place to live.

It's not that I don't have a pretty good job.  I am only paid about a third of what I'm worth, but the trade off is that when I have bad days, I can slide.  But the down side, my employers CAN'T get me insurance.  No medical plans for one employees offices.  And covering myself is out of the question as I'm middle aged, fat and have a number of pre-existing conditions.  I got a quote once, almost as much as I make.  So self insuring is out of the question.  I've been saving, hoping to get a bit of a nest egg so I can get a few procedures done at some point.  That is how I keep going some days, knowing that I'm getting closer to where I could be well.

So my heart goes out to the writer and her family.  The burden of being uninsured on top of dying is huge.

Current Regimen

As I'm sure I've commented somewhere, I tend to be a person of extremes.  When I decide to bring change into my life, I go overboard.  A couple of months ago I did that.  It did not turn out well.  Going forward I am trying to be more reasonable about it.  I'd already established that I can tolerate fish oil and about a third of the recommended dosage of calcium.  (I'll write about my experience with taking the full dose sometime)  So on 9/20/10 (my mom's birthday . . .not sure if that had anything to do with it) I started keeping a food journal again.  And I added cayenne to my regimen. One of the things I've found is that I tolerate all supplements better with lunch rather than breakfast.  Especially the cayenne, which gave me some problems at first. 

So now I have my alarm set to remind me to go to bed at 10p.  I usually don't make it until 11p but it's way better than the 1a I was staying up until a couple of months ago.  I am also pretty consistently getting up and walking just a little bit every morning.

I will try to create a digital version of my food/activity diary to use here, so I can track my progress online.

Trying to get started again

A couple of months ago my blood pressure suddenly jumped from it's usual 130-150/70-90 to 180/102.  I only know this because I donate blood twice a month and they take my bp.  The first time I just put it down to stress . . .being a passenger with my son driving.  But when it happened again 2 weeks later, I realized it's a wake up call.

The next day, I picked up some potassium and a diuretic.  I started taking them on a Monday and by Wednesday I was starting to feel puny.  But with me it's hard to tell when something is new bad or just old bad acting up.  By the next Monday I was feeling like crap, plus my nearly gone period had shown up, so I stopped taking the supplements and tried to stablize myself.  Of course, because I suck at keeping record, I am relying on my memory to sort things out. And my memory is not all that great for stuff like this.

I have experimented with various digital ways to store variables like supplements taken, level of pain, etc.  But the best thing for me seems to be good old paper and pen. 


That was about a month ago.  Last week my bp was 158/98.  Something is working.

AstraZeneca fined for anti-psychotic drug

Anglo-Swedish pharmaceutical firm AstraZeneca has agreed to pay a $510 million fine to settle a case alleging that it illegally marketed an anti-psychotic drug, the US justice department has confirmed.

The firm's US division agreed to the fine for marketing the the anti-psychotic drug Seroquel for so-called "off-label" uses not included in the drug's approved product label, the Justice Department said.

US authorities contended that AstraZeneca illegally marketed Seroquel for uses never approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) such as aggression, Alzheimer's disease, anger management, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, bipolar maintenance, dementia, depression, mood disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and sleeplessness.

Read more . . .

Getting Serious

It's time to get serious again. Those of you who struggle with weight and depression know what I mean. One day you wake up and you know you have the energy to take a shot at getting your body and mood under control. And you feel confident that this time, you will be triumphant.

I woke up feeling that way this morning. I actually got out and walked, not just lay in bed or puttered around the house thinking I'd like to. Didn't go far, just around our complex. But it was a start, and part of the reason we fail so often is we try to take too big a bite . . . try to change too much too fast.

From Calories Per Hour:

Unless you are excited to be following a very specific diet and exercise plan, do not try and change too much too fast. If you have been eating poorly and not exercising, both your body and your mind will have a lot of adjusting to do.

All the sugar and fat were actually quite enjoyable, and sitting on the couch didn't feel too bad, either. If you try and change everything too quickly the odds are greater that you will feel bad, get discouraged, and give up. So be patient.

A time will come when a healthy snack will taste as good as the junk food you felt bad about eating, and you will look forward to your regular exercise.

This is what I do. I jump in and try to change all the bad habits at once . . overcome enui that has ruled my life for months or years. But I often fail quickly because, honestly, I'm a creature of habit and the habits I have developed have stood me in good stead in surviving depression and mania. So trying to change everything at once often leaves me feeling lost . . .adrift without any anchor.

With that in mind, I've actually already started. Over a year ago I signed up for a Twitter based app called Your Flowing Data. I didn't use it very much for a year. Then a couple of weeks ago I felt my spring surge building and started recording some things. I have successfully kept track of my getting up and going to bed, blood pressure twice a day and my weight daily for over a week. As I progress I will add other things . . .not only what I eat, but vitamins and meds. This may seem onerous, but I can do most of this via my Blackberry Twitter login.

So I will be keeping a food log, something almost every weight loss expert agrees is the one thing that will guarantee success. If you are like me you have done this time and again. I've even designed my own food log, really cute little pocket sized number. And sometimes I could manage to keep tracks for a month . .before I lost it. The value of the BB based one is, I'm not likely to lose my BB. So we will see how this goes.

I'm still working on a plan. Which things to change, when. For the short term, I will continue to monitor my default behavior, tracking various activities that might impact mood and health. I'm hoping to add pain tracking today, because I have been in a lot of pain the past few days. I may start going to TOPS again, that's difficult with my schedule.

So here we . . .an adventure not so new but hopefully more successful!

Today's Post from Dr Kathleen Young

Can Childhood Abuse Make You Sick?

In my practice I often see examples of the mind-body connection, of the ways exposure to violence or trauma impacts not only psychological but also physical health. Recent research recognizes the impact that childhood abuse can have on health in adulthood. For example, migraines, chronic pain, arthritis, chronic fatigue and irritable bowel syndrome have all been found to be more common among those with a history of childhood abuse. Fibromyalgia may be triggered by severe physical or emotional trauma. Girls with hostile or stressful home environments were found to reach puberty earlier, which in turn has been linked to various health problems.

Read more . . .

I, for one, am not surprised by any of this. After a lifetime of living with the after effects of a violent childhood and associating via church and support group with folks who are survivors, I've long noted that even among the ones who are relatively well adjusted, mental illness and debilitating pain are very very common.

I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I also started going through puberty at age nine and have spent four and a half decades suffering from horrific menstrual pain. And my story is a story of battling mental illness, now labled bipolar disorder, with repeated soul wrenching, nearly fatal plunges into severe depression. Is this all attributable to the horrific abuse I endured as a child? Is there a genetic component that either triggered or was exacerbated by beatings and rape? I don't know. But it looks like some people are trying to find answers.

Links for March 15, 2010

Family history is strong predictor of obstructive coronary artery disease using CCTA

In the largest study of its kind to date using cardiac computed tomography angiography, people with a family history of early signs of coronary artery disease are at higher risk of developing obstructive coronary artery disease and plaque in their arteries, Henry Ford Hospital researchers say.

Happier News for Those Suffering From SAD

With spring right around the corner, it's time to say goodbye to the bitter temperatures, the blowing snow. Time to slough off those bundled layers and, for millions of us, time to get back to "normal" after a season of "sad."

SAD, as in Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Effects Of Lupus Disease

Lupus is an auto immune disorder. It is a situation in which the body’s immune system proves harmful to the body itself. Various body cells, tissues, organ systems, skin and internal organs are affected by lupus. Hence chronic disease management of lupus is necessary for the protection of vital organs of patients suffering from lupus. Lupus can affect all people irrespective of age and gender. The disease is usually hereditary though it need not be in all circumstances. In lupus the antibodies of our immune system attacks the healthy cells of our body.