Improving Body Image.

The Top 5 Things You Can Do Now to Promote Positive Body Image

1. Choose one friend or family member and discuss one thing you like about yourselves.
2. Keep a journal of all the good things your body allows you to do (e.g., sleep well and wake up rested, play tennis, etc.).
3. Pick one friend to make a pact with to avoid negative body talk. When you catch your friend talking negatively about their body, remind them of the pact.
4. Make a pledge to end complaints about your body, such as “I’m so flat-chested” or “I hate my legs.” When you catch yourself doing this, make a correction by saying something positive about that body part, such as, “I’m so glad my legs got me through soccer practice today”.
5. The next time someone gives you a compliment, rather than objecting (“No, I’m so fat”), practice taking a deep breath and saying “thank you.”

Read more about body image, depression and trauma at Dr Kathleen Young's blog.

Yale University researchers find key genetic trigger of depression

Yale University researchers have found a gene that seems to be a key contributor to the onset of depression and is a promising target for a new class of antidepressants, they report Oct. 17 in the journal Nature Medicine.

"This could be a primary cause, or at least a major contributing factor, to the signaling abnormalities that lead to depression," said Ronald S. Duman, professor of psychiatry and pharmacology at Yale and senior author of the study.

Read more . . .

This is pretty big news.  I am hoping they find better ways to deal with depression soon.

Totally Losing My Motivation

Yes, I know what I'm about to say is silly.  But recent changes in the online game I play has left me disinclined to continue to play.  Which is really bad.  I credit this game with keeping me engaged and at least semi interested in life during several very deep depressions.  A lot of my spare time is spent either playing this game or learning more about this game, which keeps me from obsessing about things that make me feel bad.  I am having to struggle really hard just to keep up the minimum interest in life at all.

Dying In America

Give me your Huddled Masses, Dying in America

I have Interstitial Lung Disease, with Pulmonary Fibrosis.  It is a terminal illness, with no current treatment that improves or arrest the disease, and therefore no cure.

The only chance is a heart and lung transplant, that I am not eligible to receive. I cannot seem to lose the 100 lbs I have put on while taking the Prednisone steroids.

But this is not just about me, this is about dying in one of the richest countries in the world.

Read more . . .  @ Daily Kos

Not an easy read.  I'm not dying, yet, but I have a few issues that would be much easier to deal with if I had even some kind access to basic medical care.  Fibromyalgia, obesity, and most recently high blood pressure. Also, my teeth are falling out and I have been able to only slow the process a little.  :sigh:  It's very stressful when I have a panic attack, which is horrific and feels like you are dying, to not have knowing I can't afford to see a doctor to the stressors.  A few months ago I had an episode where my chest and back hurt and I couldn't breath and it could be the muscle spasm I've had for years really acting up or I could be dying . . I crawled into the living room and lay on the floor near my daughter in case I started to die.  So at least she would know, we can't afford to call an ambulance.  And if I lose my job she will have to find a place to live.

It's not that I don't have a pretty good job.  I am only paid about a third of what I'm worth, but the trade off is that when I have bad days, I can slide.  But the down side, my employers CAN'T get me insurance.  No medical plans for one employees offices.  And covering myself is out of the question as I'm middle aged, fat and have a number of pre-existing conditions.  I got a quote once, almost as much as I make.  So self insuring is out of the question.  I've been saving, hoping to get a bit of a nest egg so I can get a few procedures done at some point.  That is how I keep going some days, knowing that I'm getting closer to where I could be well.

So my heart goes out to the writer and her family.  The burden of being uninsured on top of dying is huge.

Current Regimen

As I'm sure I've commented somewhere, I tend to be a person of extremes.  When I decide to bring change into my life, I go overboard.  A couple of months ago I did that.  It did not turn out well.  Going forward I am trying to be more reasonable about it.  I'd already established that I can tolerate fish oil and about a third of the recommended dosage of calcium.  (I'll write about my experience with taking the full dose sometime)  So on 9/20/10 (my mom's birthday . . .not sure if that had anything to do with it) I started keeping a food journal again.  And I added cayenne to my regimen. One of the things I've found is that I tolerate all supplements better with lunch rather than breakfast.  Especially the cayenne, which gave me some problems at first. 

So now I have my alarm set to remind me to go to bed at 10p.  I usually don't make it until 11p but it's way better than the 1a I was staying up until a couple of months ago.  I am also pretty consistently getting up and walking just a little bit every morning.

I will try to create a digital version of my food/activity diary to use here, so I can track my progress online.

Trying to get started again

A couple of months ago my blood pressure suddenly jumped from it's usual 130-150/70-90 to 180/102.  I only know this because I donate blood twice a month and they take my bp.  The first time I just put it down to stress . . .being a passenger with my son driving.  But when it happened again 2 weeks later, I realized it's a wake up call.

The next day, I picked up some potassium and a diuretic.  I started taking them on a Monday and by Wednesday I was starting to feel puny.  But with me it's hard to tell when something is new bad or just old bad acting up.  By the next Monday I was feeling like crap, plus my nearly gone period had shown up, so I stopped taking the supplements and tried to stablize myself.  Of course, because I suck at keeping record, I am relying on my memory to sort things out. And my memory is not all that great for stuff like this.

I have experimented with various digital ways to store variables like supplements taken, level of pain, etc.  But the best thing for me seems to be good old paper and pen. 


That was about a month ago.  Last week my bp was 158/98.  Something is working.